Now what has chapter 5 got to do with what was going on with the great departure at Ephesus in chapter 4? It seems to be totally disconnected from what Paul just got through explaining to Timothy. However, it is not disconnected in that chapter 5 is setting forth how we ought to interact with one another in the local assembly as families and family members. If you truly embrace grace doctrine, it should be evident in your family interaction. Grace teaches us how to interact with one another that honors the Lord Jesus Christ. The Law Program that God gave to Israel was based on performance. They were given a set of detailed instructions that affected every area of their daily lives. If they obeyed they were blessed by God and if they disobeyed they were chastened by God. The ultimate goal was for Israel to be an example (witness) to the rest of the world of what a relationship with God looks like and the benefits it brings. The Grace Program that God has offered to “whosoever will” is based on the believer resting in who Jesus is and what He has done on our behalf. Upon our belief of the Gospel of the Grace of God (Eph. 1:13) we are given a new identification (Col.1:27) and blessed with all spiritual blessings in the “heavenly places” (Eph. 1:3) where we are already seated with the Lord Jesus Christ. We are not handed a list of religious duties to perform in order to maintain our standing with God and thereby serve as an example to the rest of the world. We are left here on earth as “ambassadors” to proclaim the ministry of reconciliation to a lost world. Our task is not to bring in the Kingdom by building churches, feeding the poor, building houses for the homeless or providing entertainment for God’s people. Grace teaches us to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts in this present world in order that sound doctrine might be embraced by the lost and saved. At the end of the day, both Law and Grace confronts our carnal natures; but each one for different purposes and by different means.
The following verses will evidence how grace works in a believer in practical ways in our families. When we disregard these instructions, we are “departing from the faith” that Paul just warned Timothy about in chapter 4. So, it is possible for us to abandon grace in the sense that we turn away from the information itself or we can turn away from grace in another way by embracing the information but rejecting the application of grace within our families and in the structure that exited in Timothy’s day before the completion of the Word of God---the local assembly.
Vs. 1… Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; Who is the “elder” Paul is talking about here? The second phrase in the verse tells us that Paul is talking about older people in the assembly. Timothy is relatively young (I Tim. 4:12) while he ministers at the church at Ephesus, so Paul warns Timothy to talk to the older saints in the assembly as he would talk to his father. (Lev. 19:32…Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD.) This is the application of grace within the family of believers. Our approach to others should be modeled after the way we interact with family members.
Vs. 2…The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity. What did Timothy know about mothers? He knew that his mother and grandmother were directly instrumental in him coming to faith in Jesus Christ. II Timothy 1:5…When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also. Paul then warns Timothy to be careful about how he relates to the young women in the assembly because carnal nature.
Vs. 3…Honour widows that are widows indeed. Paul doesn’t talk about taking care of widowers; it is widows (mothers). Mothers have experiences that a man can never know about or experience. Widows have a special place of honor with God. She took care of you (mothers) therefore you should take special care of her.
Vs. 4-10…But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God. [5] Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day.
[6] But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth. [7] And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless. [8] But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. [9] Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man, [10] Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.
Grace teaches us to be responsible for our families. Obviously “family” was in terrible condition in the Roman Empire in Paul’s day. A local assembly is ultimately a gathering of “family”. We are to look out for one another; we are to help one another as the circumstances of life invade our lives. One of the “circumstances of life” is when death invades our home and takes away the head of the home. Paul is concerned that “desolate widows that trust in God and understands the value of prayer in this dispensation” should be the focus of our corporate attention in terms of her day to day care.
Luke 7: 11-15…And it came to pass the day after, that he went into a city called Nain; and many of his disciples went with him, and much people. [12] Now when he came nigh to the gate of the city, behold, there was a dead man carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow: and much people of the city was with her. [13] And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not. [14] And he came and touched the bier: and they that bare him stood still. And he said, Young man, I say unto thee, Arise. [15] And he that was dead sat up, and began to speak. And he delivered him to his mother. Here is a “widow indeed”; she is a widow (she has lost her husband). Her husband represents her past. This woman is doubly troubled in that she has now lost her only son to death. A son represents your future. Jesus had mercy on her because her past and future was lost and she was a widow indeed.
There is an old saying that goes… “charity begins at home”. That is not specifically stated in the Bible. Paul says that piety (spiritual commitment) begins at home. To “requite” our parents means to pay them back. For a son, daughter, nephew, grandchild to ignore their parent/grandparent in terms of provision, they have denied the faith and are worse than an unbeliever. How so? “The faith” is based on grace; therefore to ignore the needs of your loved ones denies the very definition of the word grace. Why would that be “worse than an infidel”? Because even infidels take care of their parents and an infidel is not trusting God in the first place, therefore he is not blaspheming God.
Vs. 11-16…But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; [12] Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. [13] And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. [14] I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. [15] For some are already turned aside after Satan. [16] If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.
Paul advises Timothy to not entangle the local assembly in providing for the young widows because he says if she has the church caring for her she will be tempted to be idle, wandering from house to house and a busybody; a young widow who does this has “departed from the faith”. Perhaps this would occur because she would be tempted to blame God for taking away her husband. That is what it means to “wax wanton”. Paul says she may even be tempted to justify marrying a non believer. These kinds of widows will begin to experience “damnation” (perhaps this is spiritual confusion as Paul used the word “accursed” (one of the greatest curses we can experience is confusion) to describe those who pervert the gospel. Gal. 1:6). Certainly leaving your “first faith” would put one in a mental framework of confusion and “condemnation”. What would happen in essence is the young widows would put themselves under law thinking rather than grace thinking. In verses 14-16 Paul clearly says that he advises a young widow to marry again but she needs to be careful to continue living her life in her role as a wife and mother under grace. The program of grace has much to say about our relationships regarding family. These family relationships are much too important in our lives as grace believers for God to leave it to “whatever happens will happen”.
In the dispensation of grace God wants a man to “find his voice” by caring for the physical and spiritual needs of his family. From Eve in the garden to the present dispensation, women are tempted to use their voice to take control of the home. Eve used her voice to persuade Adam to disregard the dispensational teaching of God in the Garden. As a result, I believe that God prohibited women from using their voices to “usurp authority” over the man. (I Tim. 2:12-15)
Vs. 17… Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honour, especially they who labour in the word and doctrine.
Paul is going to give us six avenues that Satan can get an advantage of us:
1. Causing the saints to under value or devalue the message (Gospel)
“Let the elders that rule well”… Paul is outlining the qualities and characteristics of the office of a Bishop. The leaders of the local assemblies in the first generation of the church the body of Christ was Bishops, not Pastors. In Ephesians 4 Paul lists the leadership of those assemblies. He is now going to give Timothy further instruction about godly leadership in the local assembly. I do not believe this to be relevant today for you and me because the church the body of Christ went into apostasy during the lifetime of Paul. As a result, in his last letter (II Timothy) he tells Timothy to commit the grace doctrine he had taught him to faithful men. Today, we live our Christian lives studying the Word of God rightly divided.
Even when spiritual leaders were called and used by God in the early part of this dispensation, God defined the role of leaders as II Cor. 1:24. Compare this with I Tim. 3:4 where Bishops are told to “rule well”. The word rule means “to care for the joy”. Paul illustrates this principle in II Cor. 2:1-11. He refused to dominate the faith of the saints at Corinth. If you try to dominate the faith of fellow believers by refusing to forgive them, Satan gets an advantage. Leadership is critical to God and Satan is very aware of this.
“be counted worthy”… It’s the word and doctrine that you count worthy, not the elders in and of themselves. You value the word and doctrine especially; the elders are incidental to carrying out that mission. (Galatians 6:6)
I Thess. 2:4… But as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth our hearts. God values His gospel; it is an honor to be put in trust with it. The gospel can save a soul from hell. How valuable is that? How did all they which are in Asia be turned away from me? (Paul) They lost sight of the value of the message of grace.
Vs. 18… For the scripture saith, Thou shalt not muzzle the ox that treadeth out the corn. And, The labourer is worthy of his reward.
Paul quotes Deut. 25 and Matthew 10 and calls them scripture but he puts them on the same level---Law. An ox will serve you well---if you feed him.
2. Entertaining rumors against a godly elder.
Vs. 19… Against an elder receive not an accusation, but before two or three witnesses.
Watch out for false accusations in the family of God. (I Tim. 6:4…evil surmising = a calculated guess).
3. Sinful leaders deserve to be blindly followed and never questioned.
Vs. 20-21… Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear. I charge thee before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, and the elect angels, that thou observe these things without preferring one before another, doing nothing by partiality.
Grace does not mean that you overlook sin. It has to be dealt with even in leader’s lives. That is the most common place for the saints to overlook sin---he is the leader after all.
4. Close association with doctrinal impurity.
Vs. 22… Lay hands suddenly on no man, neither be partaker of other men's sins: keep thyself pure.
This is an admonition to be careful who you give the right hand of fellow to.
5. Go back to a former dispensation to learn how to live.
Vs.23… Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities.
Apparently Timothy wanted Paul to pray for or heal his stomach problems and other illnesses. Paul reminded him that healing belonged to the Dispensation of the Kingdom; Paul could perform miracles of healing at the outset of his ministry to confirm his message was from God. However, these signs passed away as they have in every dispensation. Paul is telling Timothy that he should stop drinking the water as he traveled from city to city. The water was causing his stomach problems. Water is good for you but only if it is clean water.
6. Being flippant when selecting leaders.
Vs. 24-25… Some men's sins are open beforehand, going before to judgment; and some men they follow after. [25] Likewise also the good works of some are manifest beforehand; and they that are otherwise cannot be hid
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